"Happy Wife, Happy Life" (FAML)

 This week in class we are focusing on intimacy in our marriages. This quote is what stood out to me. 

       "When it comes to sexuality, some wives become very concerned about their “rights,” often speaking of their “right” to say no and yes. But marriage is also a relationship of responsibility and opportunity. In marriage, both partners have the opportunity to give. I believe few wives realize the power they have to help keep their husbands near them physically, emotionally, and even spiritually. On the other hand, I also believe few wives sense the degree of frustration and alienation husbands feel when a wife ignores his needs and interests. I believe a wise and loving Heavenly Father has given a wife the ability to achieve oneness with her husband"

                         Brent A. Barlow

     The most interesting part is where Barlow talks about the impact we women have in keeping our men close to us. I was reminded of when Gottman did a study on married couples and how most of the time the wife is the one who is likely to show contempt and to criticize. Can you see the connection?     

   When the women set time aside to welcome their husband home from work, to talk to them about their crazy day and its stresses the husband is going to feel loved and wanted because his wife is giving him positive attention. She is showing him that every part of him is important to her. When Husband comes home and the wife starts nagging him about not doing enough or being gone too much he isn't going to feel like she missed him very much or like she wants him around. This is going to push him away. He could even potentially start looking for positive attention in other ways. 

    In marriage, intimacy grows when we are able to feel loved by our spouse. We grow together when we are able to enjoy each other's company or when we can joke together. It helps us to be confident in that love that we share. 

      I was talking to my mom last night about family she said the wife is who sets the tone for the family. She is the one who is home with the children and doing most of the housework while husband is at work. If the wife is cranky all of the time or does end up criticizing or showing contempt to her husband (or even vise versa) how can the couple trust each other to be intimate? I know it would be hard for me if I was not totally confident that my husband loved and adored me.