"And You Turn Yourself About! That's What its All About!" (FAML)

     Turning toward each other. Why is that something that is not second nature for us? Why is it harder for us to turn to those whom we love? I think it is interesting that this is something everyone has to work on. Its like how a lot of us were nicer to our friends than we were to our siblings growing up. So many times it is easier for us to turn toward friends faster than it is to turn toward a spouse or family members. By doing so we are pushing those closest to us away. How sad is that? This week in Gottman's book he talked a lot about making sure that the things we are doing point us toward our spouse. Obviously if this is something that needs to be taught by a marriage therapist then it is a big problem for the world. Maybe we are just so used to turning to our friends first that turning to people we live with isn't second nature anymore. It is habit to go cry to our friends before our family.

     Same goes with being on our devices all of the time. Gottman talked about how those can really hurt our relationships. There comes a point when turning to our device out of boredom or stonewalling can become habit. It becomes second nature to be looking at your phone instead of looking for ways to be in the world. With electronic devises they can be great. They are an easy way to get a hold of your spouse while they are away. They can strengthen your relationship but if you are too focused on facebook or tweeting then you can miss so many of life's greatest moments. You can easily miss an opportunity to tell your husband or wife that you love them or that they look really great that day. Learning to put our phones down can do so much for us these days.

    With these habits that the world is helping us form we need to make sure that we are doing our very best to give positive attention to our husbands and wives. We need to make sure that they know we are listening and wanting to hear what they have to say. We should be reteaching ourselves to talk to them about our problems first. I heard a quote once that said "keep your marriage within your marriage."  It is so important that we love our spouses enough to tell them when something is wrong or when we need help. We should be turning to them. Think about it. Didn't you marry them because they were your best friend anyway? Keep it that way

*By the way, 5 points to who can guess what my title is referring to. :)