18 Months

    I am having a difficult time packing, because I know that means I have to leave. It wasn't as terrible saying goodbye as I thought. The agonizing part of saying goodbye is after they have gotten in their cars and driven away. As you watch the car getting smaller and smaller you begin to realize that it might be a very long time until you see them again. Reality starts to set in and then all at once the pain becomes real. With the uncertainty of the future it is impossible to say when you will ever see that person again. The other hard part is still being home but not being close enough to my friends. I will have three weeks where I hear about their adventures and will not get to participate with them. That is going to be difficult for me.
 I was talking to one of my bishopric members and I had told him that I might not come back. He looks at me and says, "So I might have to wait until the spirit world to see you again?" I thought this was funny but almost a positive way of seeing it. It really won't be FOREVER that I don't see these people, but it might be after we have both passed on. 
       So right now I want you guys to know that I love you so much and I wouldn't trade these last 9 months for anything. You guys have been the best support system and friends. Hopefully we will be able to have more adventures in 18 months. As I have said before, my biggest fear is being forgotten. I am almost 100% positive that my biggest fear will be realized in these next 18 months. Don't forget me!

 Anyway, this Sunday was my farewell! Here is the talk I gave:

One of my favorite quotes is “When life gets too hard to stand, kneel.”

    It has been an incredible experience to see how crucial and necessary prayer is in my life especially after getting my call. Prayer can give you the strength you didn’t even know you had. When I was younger I would wonder how people could say they had a real relationship with their Heavenly Father. I never doubted he was there listening but I didn’t understand how a relationship could be formed by talking to someone who wasn’t right in front of me. Now I understand.

I believe the components to a strong relationship of any kind include trust and openness. There came a point in high school where I decided that I really wanted and needed a real relationship with my Heavenly Father. I started praying for little things like help with understanding my chemistry homework. Eventually as I started asking for more, I realized that He can and would help me with anything that I brought to him. I completely trusted in Him. Through prayer I have learned so much about my Heavenly Father. I realized that prayer wasn’t just talking but it was also really listening. I have gained that relationship and still continue to grow closer to Him through my daily prayer.

     Prayer is an amazing thing. We have the opportunity to talk to a God at any time we want to! If there is one thing that I have learned about speaking with my Heavenly Father, it is that not only can we talk to him but He is waiting and so willing to answer our prayers and bless us.

In a talk called “Using the Supernal Gift of Prayer” by Elder Richard G. Scott he says,

       “Prayer is most effective when we strive to be clean and obedient with worthy motives and are willing to do what he asks. Humble trusting prayer brings direction and peace.”

     Before I had made up my mind to go on a mission my mom and dad kept telling me that I needed to pray about going. They kept telling me that I should be out with my brother serving. I know that when Heavenly Father speaks to me that I need to do as he says to be completely happy. That being said I didn’t want to pray about a mission because I knew he would tell me to go. At the time I really didn’t think I was cut out to be a missionary and I really didn’t want to be. Selfish I know. After a very humbling experience I went to the temple for some guidance. When I came home I sat on the couch and just thought about life. As I was sitting there it felt like someone came and sat on my chest and then said, “You need to go on a mission, right now.”

       At that point I couldn’t ignore the little and major promptings I had been receiving. I finally decided to pray and ask my Heavenly Father to confirm what I had felt.  Sure enough I was supposed to serve!

    In the bible dictionary it says that “Prayer is the act by which the will of the Father and the will of the Child are brought into correspondence with each other. The object of prayer is not to change the will of God but to secure for ourselves blessings that God is already willing to grant, but that are made conditional on our asking for them.”

     When we pray we need to be trying to align our will with Heavenly Father’s. To do so we need to ask for the right things and be receptive to the spirit.

       In True to the Faith it reads: Seek the Guidance of the Holy Ghost so you will know what to include in your prayers. The Holy Ghost can teach you to pray and guide you in the things you say. He can help you pray according to the will of God.”

      I had never thought that I would need the guidance of the Holy Ghost in praying. I figured that I usually knew what I needed/wanted and that was good enough.

      We are constantly told that we need to ponder what we will pray about before we start our prayers.

      In D&C 84:85 it says:

“Neither take ye thought beforehand what ye shall say, but treasure up in your minds continually the words of life.”

      In my mission prep class we talked about how when we prepare our lessons for investigators that we need to be prepared and have an idea of what to say. We are told not to memorize the same lessons though because we need to be open to changing it. It is hard for the spirit to communicate with us and direct us in the way the lesson should go, when we are just rambling off the same lesson every time with each new investigator. 

       The same thing goes for prayer. Before we begin our prayers we should ponder our lives, and really think about what we need. If we quickly run through the same prayer we always say just to say it, it does us no good. We need to be open to the spirit guiding us in the way of the Lord’s will. We know what we want but we don’t know what we really need and the spirit can help guide us to that.

       In Preach My Gospel it talks about praying with real intent. When we pray with real intent it means that we are committed to act on the answers we receive. This is why I couldn’t pray about the mission at first. I didn’t want to act on what I knew He would say.

       In True to the Faith it talks about when we ask for answers or blessings Heavenly Father expects us to do some work to receive them. Prayer is one form of work but we also need to be doing everything we can to assist in it being granted. “Your prayers for guidance will only be as effective as your efforts to be receptive to the whisperings of the Holy Ghost.” Are you searching the scriptures, serving others, and giving Him the time to answer?

        Heavenly Father ALWAYS hears our prayers, and will always answer them. There is this great quote that says “Faith in God includes faith in his timing.”

       When we pray are we willing to wait out the answer? In primary my teachers would always tell me that when I closed my prayer I should sit again and listen for a response. I don’t know if there was ever a time when I got an answer while I was still kneeling.

Elder Scott has this to say about that  

“His answers will seldom come while you are on your knees praying even when you may plead for an immediate response. Rather He will prompt you in quiet moments when the spirit can most effectively touch your mind and heart. Hence, you should find periods of quiet time to recognize when you are being instructed and strengthened. His pattern causes you to grow.”

            Back in March I got in a pretty decent car accident. By the time it was all taken care of I did not have the money to go back to school for spring semester. At that point I had decided that I should probably take the semester off. I didn’t want to and I have always been told that money shouldn’t be the reason I didn’t go to school. So I prayed and prayed about whether or not I should stay.  The time for school to start was quickly approaching and I was hoping to get a quick answer. However, like Elder Scott said, I didn’t ever get the answer while I was on my knees. It was in small pieces while I was reading my scriptures or just when it was quiet around the house and I had time to think. Piece by piece it came and after a couple of weeks I had my answer.

 Elder Scott continues on to talk about the three ways Heavenly Father will answer our prayers.

The first is

1)  feel the peace, comfort, and assurance confirm decision

2)  sense unsettling feeling choice is wrong This He says is what the  stupor of thought is.

     When I was in high school I thought I knew what college I wanted to go to. I was set on Utah state. I would talk about it all of the time, I had already been accepted and that was that.  I had also applied to BYU-I and had been accepted but I had no desire to go. I remember one day at a basketball game I was talking to a teammates mom and telling her how excited I was to head up to USU. I immediately got a sick feeling in my stomach. I knew at that point that it was wrong for me to go there, and that the feeling I had was Heavenly Father telling me I wouldn’t be going there.

The third and last way is:

3)  you can feel no response.

       When there is no response we need to be grateful and thank him when it does come. When you are living worthily and your choice is consistent with the saviors teachings and you need to act….proceed with trust. One of two things will happen. One you will have the stupor of thought (or uncomfortable feeling) telling you the choice is wrong, or you will have peace or the burning in you bosom will be fet. When you are righteous God will not let you get very far without a warning impression that you have made the wrong decision.

In a talk given by President Benson he gives this quote that I really liked. It says “Search diligently, pray always and be believing, and all things shall work together for your good.”

When you and your father in Heaven are working together and communicating on a regular basis there is nothing that you can’t do.

One last thing that I have learned about prayer is that if it is important to you it is important to the Lord. There are some things that I have thought to pray about but then decided that it wasn’t important enough to bring it up with the Lord. After sitting for a second I realized that that was silly and that if I wanted guidance in a small area He would still be willing to help me out. He is that best friend who is always there no matter what. He wants you to trust Him. He will never lead you astray and always has your best interest in mind. He loves you so much.

I say this a lot but it is because I know it is true, and I wish that I could just give you this feeling and love for prayer that I have, because once you have it there is so much more hope in life.

     Heavenly Father answers prayers and He is always listening. No matter how unworthy we feel to be asking for His help He is there waiting to help us. He loves you and wants you to have that strong relationship with him that  you gain through prayer. Be patient and He will be there when you need him.

Say these things in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

    I also sang which was really nerve racking and I am sure I sounded terrible. Anyway I am so glad its done now! Oh just kidding I just found out that my home ward bishop in Idaho asked me to speak....um I am not happy about that. I don't even know anyone in that ward! Whatever.  That will be a piece of cake. Well I am finally going to start packing now.