Epic Meal Time

Caution: If you have high cholesterol just reading this may make it higher! 

Imagine: ten pounds of succulent beef, dripping with grease flattened out across a pan. Covering this meat, bacon doused in fat and salt, woven together to make a blanket of deliciousness. On top of this blanket twelve baconators (for those of you who don't know what those are they are basically hamburgers with bacon) lined up evenly in two rows of six, buns soggy from the grease of the meat. As if this is not enough, another pink blanket of woven bacon laid neatly on top of the burgers. To finish it off, one last layer of ground beef to bury the middle was placed on top. A large boiling pot of savory Jack Daniels Barbecue sauce mixed with Martinelli's apple cider sat on the stove. Our mouths' watered. A sweet, and tasty sauce that was to be drizzled over the masterpiece once it was finished.

                                                                                                             

  This is one deep dish that no one should mess with. Thousands of calories jam packed into just a couple of bites.  I had to starve myself that whole day to make up for the calorie overload that was to be consumed that night. My roommate and I were at our friends' apartment, hanging out with the men. Who else would come up with such a meal? The apartment smelled strongly of bacon and sweat (yeah super gross). Enough to smother a person the second they walked into the house. Windows were swung wide open to try and freshen up the place, with little success.

                          

   "Is it ready yet?"asked one of he boys. "No! A meal like this takes time," answered the head chef Seth. The meal took hours to cook. My stomach growled at me as I waited for "the beast" to come out of the oven. I could feel myself growing weaker as I stood over the stove top, practically drooling over the sauce. Staying in the kitchen had been a poor idea on my part. I had to leave. I stumbled home fatigued and started on some unfinished homework that was so conveniently due the next morning.
       After a few hours of staring mindlessly at my computer, I finally received a call saying the food was done. I raced over to the apartment not wanting to miss a moment of the epic meal time. After delicately pouring the sauce over the layer of beef, we all dug in! This was it, the next few bites of food would surely bring me to my death. I stared at my "dinner" perturbed by the mound that sat on my plate. How the heck was I supposed to eat this!? It looked as if someone had regurgitated their McDonalds lunch and put it in front of me.

       I gradually picked up my fork, unsure of if I was really going to put myself through this. I cautiously dug into the meat pulling out the smallest piece I could. Everyone around me knew I was a slight health freak and couldn't stand bacon. They sat, eyes fixed on me. I couldn't do it. "Madi! Just do it! Go!" yelled my roommate. In an instant, my fork had taken flight and landed in my mouth. My eyes firmly shut, as if that would help the horrid taste or slimy texture. I quickly masticated the food and swallowed. Gulp! "That's it, I can't eat anymore," I stated. The meatloaf, as we called it, made me want to skip every meal for the next week. After watching my huge Tongan friend scarf down half of the pan in minutes, I felt the need to throw up and take a shower I don't think I have ever felt so disgusting in my life. I turned to my roommate and said "Don't let me do that again."