1, 2 Buckle My Shoe, 3, 4 Teach Me To Parent More

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Just some parenting humor to start this blog post off.  But really though, parenting is all guess work. It is one of those things that no one can really tell you how to do. People can give suggestions and hints, but no one knows your children like you do and you can’t prepare to teach them the way they need it until you meet them and figure it out. In my parenting class, we talked about a few good ways to make sure we as parents are effective and loving.

This first thing is to ask the right questions. We usually ask ourselves what to do when things go wrong. Instead we should be asking ourselves “how do we help things go right?” This comes from the “Parenting Pyramid” from the Arbinger Company. Asking the right question can get our minds in the right place. When we expect things to go wrong, I feel like it is a self-fulfilling prophesy. We see the bad so we get the bad. When we have a preventative thought process we teach our children more effectively and we can see more of the good that happens. I also feel that when we think this way we can be prepared for different situations and know how we are going to react already. When we know how we are going to react we can be more calm and loving. On the flip side, if we are not prepared for situations we can overreact and make it harder for the child and ourselves.

Another thing that is important is how to discipline our children. I think that is a struggle for most, if not all, parents. Many times parents act out of anger, give punishments that have nothing to do with the offense, or wait too long to give the punishment. In the book “The Ten Basic Principles of Good Parenting” it talks about a five step process for punishing appropriately. The first thing to do is explain what the offense was. Once the problem has been identified the parent needs to explain the impact of what happened. Step three is to give alternatives of the wrong behavior. After that the parent needs to state what the punishment is in a clear statement, and once that is done the parent states what they expect of their child next time. This makes perfect sense to me. Punishments are most meaningful when they are related to the bad behavior and delivered within a reasonable amount of time. It becomes meaningless if the child doesn’t see the connection to the wrong act or if it is delivered too late. To me this makes the most sense when it comes to punishing wrong behaviors. It gives the child a reason why they are in trouble and helps them understand why it was wrong.

The third important parenting principle is teaching your child when they are ready to learn. In a talk in the LDS General Conference by Elder Bradley D. Foster “It’s Never Too Early and It’s Never Too Late” he talks about an example of this. Elder Foster was a bishop of a ward (group of LDS people) in Rexburg Idaho. He was interviewing a boy to go into the temple. During his interview he was very impressed by this boy named Pablo. Pablo told this bishop that while he was growing up his father would take him aside each year and explain the troubles that he might encounter, such as cheating, inappropriate jokes etc. His father explained that things like that would happen and to come talk to his father when they happened. The reason I bring this up because His father set an example of love by helping his son prepare for the hard things of each year in his life growing up. He taught his son when he was ready to learn and didn’t just throw it all up on him when the father thought the time was good.

Sometimes we parents look like this…

http://www.growthweaver.com/dont-choke-avoiding-digital-word-vomit-brand/

It is possible to teach too much too soon. We feel we are ready to teach the child when he or she is not prepared to hear what we have to say. It is also possible to not give enough information when the child is ready to learn. In a General Conference talk by Boyd K. Packer he compares teaching children to feasting verse snacking. When we let children snack before dinner their appetites are ruined and they miss out on important nutrition that they need. When we have children asking questions it is best to let the “feast” and teach the children while they are curious and ready in stead of give them a short answer and dismiss their curiosity.

It is hard to know how to parent our children and when to do what. With these tips we can better understand what is best for our children and how we can help them learn and develop.

           

I Have Seen God

Have you ever seen God? I have. More on that in a little bit.

 I was reading in 3 John this week and I came across an interesting scripture. Verse 11 says, "Beloved (John speaking to Gaius), follow not that which is evil, but that which is good. He that doeth good is of God: but he that doeth evil hath not seen God."

As I was thinking about that verse I realized that while I can't see God in person, I can see His work and evidence that He is always with me helping me out.

 This semester I have been writing down small, or big, miracles that happen each day. I have a giant white board sitting in my living room with each day's miracle written on it. I have it in my living room so that each day I can see it and be reminded of how much Heavenly Father helps me out. There have been some days where it has been harder to see what God has done for me, but there has not been a single day that I could not find something that He did. These things that I write down are things that could not have happened unless He was in the details. These are things like my husband getting a job that only had one position open and multiple people applying for the job, or seeing one of the people I taught on my mission get re-baptized after a 25 year hiatus from the church. These things are only possible because Heavenly Father loves me, and all of us. He does so much for us each day. 

I was having a hard time seeing Him in my life. That is why I chose to do this project. As I have been working on it, I have realized that while life is hard, God is still helping me out. He can't make life easy, because that would take away from our entire purpose on earth. However, He can help make it more enjoyable and help us to see the good in each day. 

This isn't something that we just notice though. We need to take the time to sit, ponder, and focus on what He is helping us with. We also need to recognize that everything we have is because of Him. 

So, I have seen God every day recently. Have you?

Thou Shalt Not Covet

This week we read in Hebrews chapters 8-13. There were a couple of verses that I really like in this book. The first was in chapter 12:6-7 & 11-12. This whole chapter was about being chastened and how it is for our benefit. I love this reminder because we all hate being corrected. It is rare that we are corrected in a way that helps us feel good about ourselves but also changes how we act. As I thought about that, I wished I could parent that way. I would love to be able to correct my children while still making them feel good about themselves and want to do better. 
The other scripture that I liked in this section were in Chapter 13:5. This scripture talks about how we should not covet what we don't have. It tells us that we need to be happy with what we have been given. The verse goes on to say, "I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." I thought that was an odd combination for that verse. First it is saying to enjoy what we have and then it says that He will not leave us. As I thought about that I wondered if it meant that if we have the full restored gospel of Jesus Christ in our lives that is all we need and the rest is just an added bonus. When we are faithful to the Savior and our Heavenly Father, we will have everything that we need to reach Heaven and live with God again. Why do we worry about having so many worldly things when in reality none of that brings us closer to God? When we can finally realize that what we have can and will make us happier than anything else, then we can be free. Free from hating others for what they have, free from jealousy, and free from bad thoughts. These are all things that bring us down and make us miserable. Let's focus on what we have been given. We have bodies that enable us to become perfect one day, we have the love of an older brother who will always be there for us no matter what, and we have the promise that we will live with God again if we follow His commandments. What could be better than that?
-Skeeter 

The Enabling Power

In this post I am going to be talking about Romans chapters 1-8. So when I just reference a chapter and verse you know what book we are in.
After reading these chapters I was trying to decide what I wanted to focus on from them. After some thinking and studying I realized that grace and the Atonement (Christ's sacrifice) was a big part of the entire eight chapters. Because of His sacrifice we can literally do anything that we set our minds to. I have said this a million times, but if it is important to you it is important to Him. That is how much He loves us.
Chapter 5 starts out strong with talking about how through faith we can be at peace with God. Can you imagine being at peace with God? Or what that would even mean? Many who believe that there is a judgment after this life tend to fear how they will measure up. Are they going to Heaven? Will they be cast down to Hell unwillingly? In the gospel according to Madi, being at peace with God means that you can stand before Him at the judgment day and be confident that you are going to be able to live with Him again in heaven. In this verse we are taught that if we are faithful to Christ we can do that. How relieving would that be? The verse continues on to say that this is possible because of what Jesus Christ did for us.
As I kept reading the verses just kept getting better. In verse two it goes on to say that through our faith in Jesus Christ we have access to His grace.
Grace can mean a few different things when talked about in conjunction with the Atonement, or Christ's suffering. In a talk that was given by David A Bednar, he mentioned that grace is the enabling power. So if we reword that verse it says, "By whom also we have access by faith into this [enabling power] wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God." Christ literally enables us to become anything we want to be. He gives us strength, He helps our weaknesses, He guides us to the path that will get us where we need to go and SO many more things. And all it takes is believing that Christ will help us.
The interesting thing is that faith is an action word. Yes we need to feel it, but when we have faith in Christ we follow Him and do as He has commanded us. That isn't always easy, but He knows our hearts. I love that we don't need to sit around and mope about what we have done wrong. We can ask for forgiveness from Christ, and anybody that our mistake may have hurt, and then move forward. Christ promised us that if we forgive others He will forgive us. We can trust that promise because of our faith in Him. When we apply the Atonement and repent we can move on from our mistakes. We can be at peace with God again, and grow closer to Him. That is one of the biggest blessings of the sacrifice of our brother.
There is so much that the Atonement can do for us. When we use our faith the Savior will show us just how powerful His sacrifice was. Show Him your gratitude for what He did by turning to Him.

One last thing before I finish up. In chapter 8:16 it says, "the spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God."  We are God's literal children and He wants us back home. So does our older brother Jesus Christ. Use the faith that you have and let them show you the way home.
Skeeter

Confidence Boost

Hey it's me again! This week I was reading in 1 Corinthians 12 when I had a thought. The majority of us base our self worth  on our image, talents, and the amount of friends who follow us on social media. How does that work out for us? It doesn't. We all have terrible hair days, lose followers as time goes on, and possibly stop having time for our talents. We all put ourselves through this in one way or another. I am sure most of us hate it too. I would love to be happy with my big feet and 10 followers that I have on stalkbook. But satan comes in and makes us think that what we are and what we have isn't good enough.
Wouldn't it be amazing if we could see all of the things that make us great that don't include how we dress or who "liked" our last post on instagram? I wish we could see ourselves the way others do-especially the way the Savior does. Obviously there was something special enough about each of us that He decided it was worth it to die for you. You specifically made Him decide that suffering was worth it if it meant you got to live with Him again. That is how badly He wanted to make sure we lived with Him again. What a nice brother!
We all know he doesn't care what we look like or how popular we are. So what made us so great? All of our many talents that go beyond instruments and sports, that's what.. In 1 Corinthians 12:8-10 it talks about spiritual gifts. These gifts are things that not only bless our lives but the lives of those around us. Some of us are knowledgeable, others have wisdom (the application of that knowledge), others faith. Some have the gift of knowing what is right and wrong. There are many more and each one of us has at least some of these.
When you are having a rough day, look in the scriptures in this chapter and in Doctrine and Covenants 46:12-26 (Here is the Link to the second set of scriptures for those who don't have access to the Doctrine and Covenants). Sit down and read both of these chapters. I know you will be able to see some of the most important things about yourself that make you lovable.
Also, the great thing about these gifts is that we CAN have them all! If there is one we want, but don't have, work on it! Heavenly Father will give it to you if you want it.
These are the things that will make us truly happy in this life. I promise you that.
Skeeter

Its Been Awhile

Back at it again for a class. This round of entries will be things that I learned from my New Testament class I am taking this semester. I would love comments and feedback from anyone who reads.

This week I read in Acts chapters 9-16. The chapter and verse I want to focus on is Acts 14:8-10. Paul was out working and he found a man who could not use his legs. Because Paul saw that the man had faith to be healed he told him to stand and walk.

How many times do we think we need something and then ask God for the help to receive it? In the bible dictionary it talks about how prayer is part of the effort it takes to see miracles. Prayer is us showing Heavenly Father that we have faith that He will help us. That faith is the key to seeing miracles, great and small, in our lives. Without faith we can't receive much help from our Father in Heaven.
One thing that stood out to me was in verse 11. It said that the people saw the miracle that was done and started to say "The gods are come down to us in the likeness of men." Two thoughts: 1) We have prophets and apostles that lead us, the same way the people of the New Testament did. That is not a coincidence. We can have the faith that these men work for Christ everyday. 2) We can be an answer to someone else's prayer. If we follow those small thoughts to text someone and let them know they are loved, or that thought to make sure Mrs. Johnson down the street is doing ok, we can literally answer prayers and strengthen our faith as well as others.

We can be seeing miracles every day if we put forth the effort and have faith.

So some things to think about:
How do I strengthen my faith?
What do I need to change in my life to show God I want His help?
Why am I not seeing miracles every day?
What do I need right now in my life?

This post is kind of all over the place, but I hope that it gets you thinking about how you can grow your faith and become a better follower of Christ.

Skeeter

Normal Food!!

Hey guys!
Again I forgot to send an email on Sunday. I remembered while I was in sacrament that I needed to do that but by the time we got back from church I had forgotten. Maybe next week haha

Anyway this week has been pretty good! Again we still haven't taught a full class yet. We have had a few 20 minute classes to practice but that is it. There are about 40 kids in each class so it gets crazy! On top of all the noise those  kids make the whole school is inside and the classrooms have windows open so you can hear all of the other kids and how loud they are.it gets hard to hear sometimes. But its fun! The kids are so stinking cute! And they are all very smart. The tricky part is keeping all of them entertained.

We also found a really yummy restaurant which is so exciting for me. We have limited places to eat so the fact that we found one that we like so much is good! By the way...a lot of the food here smells and tastes like dirt a lot of times.  When Jamie and I smell it or taste it we just say it tastes like China and we know exactly what it is.
At church on Sunday we had a potluck and the members made a lot of American food. I can't tell you how happy I was to be eating a home made meal again. I have missed that.
Ok it sounds like I'm not liking the food so much. I actually really do but my tongue misses dinner at home.
Anyway! I don't know if I have explained how church works out here. The nationals can't be in the same ward as us so we go to a tiny branch in a neighboring city with other foreigners. Most of the branch is Americans who ate here for work. So it was fun for us to see white people again.
So to really celebrate our anniversary we went to the zoo inshanghai on Monday. That place is huge! We got there about 10 in the morning and e didn't leave until 4:45. The only animal we went and saw twice was the panda. It took us the entire day to see all of the animals there. We were so exhausted when we got home. But it was totally worth it!
Anyway that is about it for this week. Hope you guys have a good one!

Skeeter